I feel like I've just completed the Tour de France...well more like The Tour de Thames

Goodness... now that was a whirlwind visit.. Have just got back on my feet after rushing home for my mums 60th.. and squeezing a few friends, babies and marriage moments in ALL AT once...

Thanks to all who made it on the Saturday.. and to all family who turned up on Sunday... and for the moments in between.. ALL of them special in their own little ways.. thank you..

So yeah here's the photo evidence.. God I think i've turned into a snappy jappy...

The fly-by started with a gentle bump into Gatwick met by Mum and Gran who both looked TIP TOPmy nan is rocking at 90 and I have a lot to live up to!!.. Mama had a better tan than me which in my eyes is illegal as I am the one swanning around the Med but as it was her bdayI let it pass.......

Then I burnt over to the Australian re connection in the house where i spent a lot of my childhood...with Gem, Baby Tyler

and Derek ..

Gem you are looking shit hot!! and your boys rock.. well done x

After that amazing but too brief a moment with the D'lemos's it was over to the predictable Richmond River debauchery..which ended up back at the "lost weekend" venue with the inevitable consequences..

All the motley crew showed up..

The lovely Sebby made an appearance which was tip top... (see you made it onto the website after all!!)

I totally enjoyed myself hope they all did...

didn't manage to get photos (don't know how) of Lovely Lorna Ben or Sarah... but they added to the mix making it eclectic electric and generally good fun

Even Ems did a late show but a good turn up none the less with sis and boyfriend in tow.. and she was one of the last to leave as ever..

Another surprise guest was Julian..

think he thought he was coming out to meet Liam for a quick beer!!! I had to remind him of the occassion (ie: me being back) he quickly adopted the party and even created my very own world cup themed song which everyone proceeded to shout all night " She's only back 3 days... 3 days... she's only back 3 days" - to be yelled in football crowd style.. Genius!!

The nerdalino 3 were reunited...

Alex, James.. both stars in their own right with patience of saints.. and neighbours from hell.. what a combination.. well done for putting up with me and the gaggle of madness that came with..

not sure why you put yourselves through it but well done nonetheless and THANK YOU!!!

THEN it was quick sticks, 2 hours sleep, off to the country the next day for the point of my return, my mums 60th... unfortunately my camera taking skills foundered... but here are my two TOP cousins

Olivia

Dani

(you are looking good girls sorry for cramping your style but your ageing and slightly hanging cousin needed you a bit that day!!)

and their dad, my Uncle John....looking daper..

if you look closely you can see Birthday girl in the background looking radiant.... the day was an excellent success.. even managed a speech with my Brother (first public together moment in about 14 years!).....!!!! everyone looked like they had a top time (must admit I drew a few blanks with the old "AMELIA!! Goodness we haven't seen you for a long time" with me not having a clue who they were!! and feverishly hoping they wouldn't ask me to introduce them to someone else!!! But I think I styled it out.. almost!)

Luckily this was followed by the best chilled night of curry, football and glorious sleep, much needed!!!

Monday became the day of babies.. I got to see Monty and Liliana... he is 16 months and looking so delectable I could've easily stolen him... and than i ran over to see Lou and the lovely Lila.. who proceeded to snooze on me the entire 4 hours i was there..

couldn't you just eat her....

Ella popped by with her 6 month bump and looked as radiant as ever.. Lou Lou Ella you both are amazing mamas.. a very humbling moment for me...

And then I retired with Beckalina and Lorna for Lamb (I've been craving it ) Red wine and lots of gossip..

Tuesday was a beckalina movie and snooze moment with bex (god I've missed them) followed by a drink on richmond hill, coffee with my two amazing cousins Olivia and Dani, where Glastonbury pacts were made for next year (by the way am entertaining the idea of bringing ambulance Liv!! if i can get her back on the road..) and they just amazed me with their growing coolness.

And of course then there was the England match.. after visiting Jo and Jay for a congratulatory roast chicken dinner for the first half (they just got married in France.. amazing it looked too!) I proceeded to meet others who couldn't make Saturday (and some who made it and just needed another excuse to party) Party we did and celebrate we did I nearly jumped into the TV screen when Gerrad got that 2nd goal, I offically LOVE the world cup!!!!..it all ended with me falling home in Hampton the next morning.. got to spend a nice day on twickenham river with my Gran and Mum then I flew back to Napels.... THE END....

I did mention it was FULL ON.... didn't I... honestly the crew saw a shadow of her former self when i returned.... Capitan was not impressed.. thank god Italy got through to the next world cup round.. the crew got so distracted with tension and the celebration they forgot to pick on me.. phew!!!

So as I type this I am in Croatia... I have gone round Sardinia (before i popped back to the UK) which is amazing...def a hot spot in Europe.

From what I saw it had a much more natural landscape (more my scene) ie: not very built up lots of open spaces and from what i could make out the locals seemed more relaxed..island life I suppose bring it on is what I say.. then after i returned to Napels (exhausted), we "navigated" over to Capri.. owners were supposed to come on board, but they didn't so we went swimming LOVE IT.. Loved Capri too.. then we navigated to Sicily where we got rebuffed at the port and had to anchor off the mainland coast..(quite cool I got to hang out in the garage with the chef and deckie fishing bathed in moonlight.. didn't catch a thing though!PAH)

It was an early start the next day as we headed over directly to Croatia...we were supposed to be meeting the owners in Venice.. but their plans changed.. we are hoping they'll come to Croatia... This crossing was amazing I got my long awaited, hotly anticipated moment, where I find myself in the middle of the sea no land in view, the wind blowing and the sun blazing.. it did help that England qualified for the quarter finals just as we were cruising across the Adriatic sea pulling closer to the Dalmation coast, and I went slightly crazy doing laps of honor on the top deck screaming adulations to David Beckham...(not sure the Croatians liked me rubbing their faces in it... oh well!) Definitely a moment for the memory banks.. looking forward to the caribbean crossing on a sailboat!!! bring on weeks at sea with no land... hopefully I can replace the joy of David Beckhams goals with whales and dolphions.. but that's a long way off....

So it feels like it's been mad-rush, mad-rush-rush of late.. which is why I don't feel even the eenseeiest guilty when i tell you I spent this afternoon jumping off rocks and sunbathing.. HERE.....

yup no owners still and we are in Dubrovnik..

I came here 3 years ago with my good friend Andy and Rich.. loved it then and love it now.. Croatia is so beautiful.. even found a special bar I discovered back then on the outside of the wall of Dubrovnik city....

Chris, Greg, Andy, Rich.. remember this special place...??

AND managed to get some of the crew out and have a pretty good night..

this world cup fever must be a good thing... part of me wants Italy to win just so they keep the happy mood..

think the plan is to stay in Croatia until end of July then we zoom back to Southern France with an Ibizan possibility for August... but the owners seem to be as relaxed as me when it comes to firm plans so who knows....

I'll sign out now but I do want to say lots of "I'll come and visit.." were thrown at me this trip back.. all I can say is you are all welcome mi casa/boat tu casa..... you know.. just put your whatever where your mouth is and come and have some fun with me in France or Italy or wherever the hell I end up... Lou September France lets do it, Lorna Bex you know that bday weekend will occur in Oct, Liam get your bum over here and the rest of you go on, you can do it.... DON'T BE SHY.......

Oh yeah and...

Beckalina you NERDALINA I LOVE YOU XXXX

Bonjour France... let the real work begin!!

Goodness it feels like an age since I last wrote

SO.... I've left Viareggio



...ahhh Viareggio (you must visit if you ever get the chance..mountains, sea, gelati, pizza, tranquillo atmostphere, round the corner from Pisa, Florence and the glorious Toscana!!! )

and sailed (true sea farers term this "navigating".. LOVE IT) on my first "proper trip" to Nice, It took us 5 hours and I again was thoroughly overly excited.. the crew keeps taking the mic out of my ridiculous repetitions of "I'm so excited!" .. I'm not really styling it out and acting cool but who cares...

Just like to add at this point that I am loving this whole travelling and arriving by sea thing...

So we made it to French shores to start the real work.. I have been absolutely pooing my pants about this moment.. me serving food and beverages 5 star stylie on moving platforms!!!If you know me well enough your reaction will be like Beckalina's.. uncontrollable fits of hysterical laughter stiffled by mutters of "you can't that's impossible, you are WAY to clumsy!!" .. she's right of course.. hence my fits of fear.. but thankfully so far its been minimal damage and pretty damn good service.. but more of that later...

The boat was completely ready before we embarked on our first proper work moment.. As my first load of pictures were of its "work in progress" thought you might like to see more of it...

I give you: the "fly" - the owners sunbathing heaven on the top deck...

at the bow there is the crews outside area.. our own private sun trap...

The "poppa" - the half deck at 'de back of de boat' or more formally "the stern"!! - where the owners eat and people watch when we are in port..


The salon which houses Eric the Iguana (I've named him!) pictured earlier..

this charming Andy Warhol..


and this glorious dinner table.. that no-one uses and seems to be the home for another special friend of mine...

Another important development was the arrival of our uniform... I've been checking out all neighbouring crew to try and work out what might be instore for us.. it wasn't looking good with very "special" white blouses, nautical stripes on the shoulders and calf length skirts.. but thank the lord our owners wife is a fashionista with a boutique in Monaco and sent us all T-shirts, tracksuit tops and the guys got shorts / trousers.. we however had to go to the uniform shop in Antibes for our own "bottoms" - took me back to buying uniform for secondary school, it really was just like that shop in Twickenham - and we ended up having to buy the horrendous "Skorts!" much to my and Prue's disgust.. .

but you can't have everything and so far the fact that I can wear all my irrelvant bangles, nose ring and have my hair down coupled with OK T-shirts and jumper means I can bear the skorts.... JUST!!!


Now that we live all together on board (8 crew) I have discovered a few plus's and minus's...
The laundry - a definite minus - has increased and I am finding myself ironing everyday (a task I only managed once a year, if I was UNlucky, in my previous life!!).

The chef:

is on board full time and cooks amazing food for us.. and obviously for the owners...
this rests inbetween a minus ( the "stewy spread" is infamous amongst crews all over the world!) and a plus.. check out our tiger prawn and langostine feast!!!


I've also discovered that this really is like being on Big Brother without the TV cameras.. and I just want to say THANK GOD for Prue..without her I would be terminally insane rather than slightly bonkers!!!... 6 Italian men and 2 of us has proved interesting!!! Don't mean to offend but, I thought it was just women who did the whole tantrum, silent treatment, throwing a mood trick.. say No more.. but all I can say is I am beginning to sympathise with all contestants of BB!!!

So onto the work. This past month has consisted of us being based in Nice


and working weekends with the owners in St Tropez (dahling!).

our first weekend was just with the 2 children (Anna and Maria)


their nanny Anita and their dog Scooby



The kids are great and just want to play play play..we've been teaching them card games (21, spit/shithead) and trying to convince them that sunbathing really is fun: "come on girls lets go outside and get a tan" type of game.. their nanny is Polish and only speaks French, Russian and Polish, so my French is getting practise which I am pleased about. The real work translates to serving 3 meals a day, managing the cleaning of the boat and doing all laundry between the 2 of us.. The second weekend The Owner (kids father) came.. after the stomach filled with butterflys Hello, all went well... the hours are long we start at 8 and then work until latest 1.45am... we try and take it in turns to have a break in the afternoon.. am sure with practise and time we will get better at doing that...
we spent that week in St Tropez = evenings in port



and days anchored round the corner at the famous beaches of St Tropez..

I have been celeb spotting with Tamara Beckworth loving being our neighbour in port and stories of Penelope Cruz and Bono hanging around on a neighbouring boat for the Cannes film festival.. my shallowness was at its best as I nearly fell over board when Dolce and Gabbana's boat was pointed out to me with their Cannes film party in full swing, models bouncing around semi nude on the deck and EVERYTHING!!!...

Then towards the end of that week we met the girls mum and her sister... After a truely beautiful moment where I attempted to serve 5 glasses of champagne and dropped all of them spectacularly - but managing to smash only one, MAGIC!! - it has been pretty much plain sailing ('scuse the pun!!) I've served lunch to 13 while rocking madly on anchor.. dinner to 10 and multiple glasses of champagne and the legendary Russian vodka all in tact and looking delectable!
Prue with her excellent waitress skills has taught me how to carry the 3 plates and other little hospitality tricks.. like giggling and smiling whenever you muck something up - works a treat... Just have to say ...I've only worked in hospitality once, when i was 21 just before i went travelling in THE rugby pub in Twickenham when a very important tournement was on and the cutsomers seemed to want Guiness 24 hours a day... apart from that I have been an office bound business development / fundraising sort of girl.. not exactly equipped to do this type of work.. unless you want me to sell in the qualities of our chefs food which by the way I can do very well...so I can say with a huge amount of pride that yes, I served 13 people lunch, no problemo! And i can also say, as an observation, I actually like this type of work. It's easy! "What can I get you to drink?" Fine. Make it. Serve it. Done. Happy person (especially 4 glasses later). Dare I say it but I get a sense of achievement when i see the owner and guests happy.. and I don't have to bullshit my way through anything... its all straightforward plain sailing (!) work..

ANYWAY.. back to St Tropez.. it's quite entertaining when you come to park your boat in port.. all of the tourists in St Tropez decide to come and watch.. I wish I had a picture of it.. you feel very on stage.. and almost a little famous as you stand being watched.. Our crew do it all very tranquillo and cool, thank God, i have witnessed a few boats come in with their respective crews trying to act the part yet flapping around and panicking as the boat nears the port wall...It does make me laugh how shameless tourists are, as they stand gauping, pointing and staring.. i have vowed never to be like that..It also amazes me how we actually fit into the port.. St Tropez is quite small.. there are lots of big boats.. and our capitan is an expert at reversing into the smallest spaces... I am even getting a go at being a deckie as I use the fenders to help guide him in and avoid smashing up the millions of pounds worth of yachts around us (No pressure!).

When we finish the weekend the girls go to school in Monaco and we get some down time... I used one of these times off to go back to my old haunt in le Lot, to visit my sheep, the famous ambulance and see some old friends.. Suffice to say all is good, there are more little lambs so I am feeling all grandmotherly proud again..


even a goat
and some pigs have joined the clan...


My ambulance is safely tucked up at my French bessy mate Mia's house,


who I know will love and look after her, she is even helping me find a crazy mechanic who is hopefully going to convert it to Diesel and bring it back to life!!!(just the thought of that makes me feel SOO excited... I can almost smell the inevitable roadtrip that is so overdue in that baby!)

I visited my special secret lake and soaked up some rays with the lovely Ria

who put me up for one of the nights at her glorious french maison....


THANK YOU ROB AND RIA.. and Ria: am thinking of you loads, you are never far from my thoughts... hope you are back on your feet again and being strong!! xx xx xx


I used this visit as my chance to say Goodbye to my trusty Golfalina as I donated her to John and life on the farm. She returned the favour by blowing one of her front tyres much to the amusement of the local French passersby and to Ria... we almost fell apart laughing....thankfully a local lad helped me change the tyre and source a new one.. good ole golfalina.. hope she has some surprises left for John this summer!!!

I visited Fontaine at just the right time as it was Kyrans 7th birthday and it was so good to see both him and his brother again!!
back to Nice...




we spent the last weekend again in St Tropez and then were invitd to the owners apartment in Monaco to watch the Grand Prix, I was hoping to sneak off and scoot half way across the country at this point to catch Jo Hay's wedding, but it was not possible so I opted for a day away from all the crew and soaked up some rays with Prue on Nice beach..

That brings me nicely up to date as the following week we jetted back to Viareggio..


we are staying here until middle of next week when we navigate (!) over to Sardinia which will be my home for the month of June.. We are expecting the family to visit the boat at the weekends as per last month and hopefully we will use the down time in the week to explore a bit of Sardinia (cannot wait I hear it's beautiful).. But the best news of all is next week I have the go ahead to come home for my mums 60th. She is having a party near Ascot where all her friends and lots of family are coming. It's been ages since we've all been together it's going to be bloody excellent..I heard her say she is excited which, unlike her daughter, she never says!!! I'm really looking forward to the day .. Oh yeah she has asked me to make a short speech (not scared!!!) watch this space for news of the inevitable balls up!!!

.. On top of all of that I am hopefully going to get to see all of my friends and the new little arrivals who have come on the scene since March... my oldest mate Gemma is even over from Australia on a family visit.. God it almost sounds too perfect.. So if you are about and want to meet up..07722885645 bell me up!

Otherwise I'll be back with more sea faring tails soon.
Arrevederci!!