It's official:

I have an extremely rare and potentially dangerous strain of cabinos fevitis (cabin fever) coupled with involuntary celebacy!!!AAAhhhhh!!!

I think I'm checking straight into The Priory when I get home.. (or is that the pub????)

Yup I am going MAD on this boat.. Now, I have been gently reminded by a good friend of mine that many people would like to exchange places with me and ( as he put it) .."swan around the Med for the summer on a luxury yacht!" And put that way I am sure they would. However as mentioned in my last entry not all is what it seems! And as the cracks begin to show, and the months turn into weeks until its all over, I feel it my bound duty to be honest and reveal the truth about this particular experience of mine...

It's honestly not the normal interpretation of cabin fever thats affecting me.. I knew I was going to be on a boat for 6 months and after surviving 5 weeks on a much smaller vessel last year in Ibiza I knew I would be able to handle the confined space issue. And too be honest living out of bags for the past few years (albeit big bags) has also helped prepare me.. No! It's more the mix of personalities, coupled with lack of actual work, coupled with bizzare management, coupled with trying to fathom out what the hell is going on from a blank piece of paper (or as Prue would put it "from doughnuts"). The long and short of it is, it really is the people at work who can make or break a job for you.. and unfortunatley I have been unlucky with 6 out of 7 colleagues..

First bear in mind that when you are on a 41 m yacht (think of the 41m as work AND living space - that's 24 hours - for 8 fully grown adults. Not as a lovely big boat to take a day trip in..Suddenly it's not such a big space!!!), then imagine that you only have 1 other person who actually wants to talk to you at all - that's Prue the other stewardess - the others can all speak English to varying degrees, I can also converse in basic Italian, Spanish and French with them if they let me, they just choose not to..

Then imagine, if you will, that you have never worked on a boat before in your life, yet when you arrive and for the remaining 6 months you are not told the correct way of doing things or the order things should be in, you are just shouted at (or worse just blanked for 3 days) when you inevitably get it wrong..

And just to round it all off throw in a completely arrogant deckhand who thinks he is God, and who, whenever he feels fit, shouts insults at you like Animal, imbicile, dickhead and shithead ( all in Italian but these words I have picked up quickly)

Are you still wanting to swap with me on my divine Mediterranean cruise??

I think I could have gotten by without catching this rare strain of cabin fever if we had been really busy this season, too busy to notice if you know what I mean. But our owner has spent most of his time off the boat, so it's just been the merry 8 on the not so big luxury yacht...

Our free time is so monitored that we are not allowed to get tipsy, let alone have a fun night, meet people and perhaps stay out beyond 12pm..

Now, my whole life has been a physically-active, socially-involved whirl! I haven't had a curfew since I was 14!!! Being stuck with 6 miserable Italians, with nothing to do, not allowed out (bar the odd night which I think illustrates perfectly why we have "Sailor in Port"issues - see below entries for explanation), and only a wonderful Auzzy for company (thank God for Prue) with Italian TV blaring until midnight every night, might go a little way to explain a) this rant, and b) my rare disease...

But yes I am (Ma!!!) keeping a positive outlook.. If I had succumbed and allowed the normal Amelia "out" I would have told them all where to stick it a long while ago. BUT I have been developing the "Zen Amelia" and have been working on my tolerance and patience. So bar this blog entry and a few mentallistic texts I have been getting on with it and counting the days until I have completed my first season.. This little baby has been keeping me going:

Along with the promise of a European Road Trip home with the ambulance and Prue once this whole madness has all finished...

PHEW.. yeah that's a little better it's all out.. think I'll end this entry now... I feel cleansed..I have about 5 weeks left and yeah the owner is coming tomorrow so I have work to do (Also I suspect my family will be sending the men in the white coats over to Nice to get me if I don't chill out soon)..

So next time you hear from me no doubt I'll be full of the joys of St Tropez and of course coming home... Hold on to your Horses!!!!!!!

And if I haven't said it enough Thank GOD FOR PRUE.....

Lifestyles of the Rich and the famous

As I mentioned in my last entry our moment was cut short in Croatia and we headed back to the Cote d'Azur, more specifically St Tropez, via a few days in Viareggio, Italy... I think it is fair to say at this point that I have developed "Sailor in Port" syndrome... this, aptly given a name by Moi, is in short the stereotypical image you get when visualising a sailor hitting his first port after months at sea, with the inevitable drunken brawling, womanising and generally despicable behavior expected from this situation. Now I'm not suggesting I am fighting and sleeping around everytime i hit port.. Far from it... but I am definitely developing the drunken out of control look every time we touch down on terra firma...This last time in Viareggio culminated in poor Seb getting a phone call the day after my "first night on land" from a strange Australian asking if he knew who the owner of this phone, brown purse and silver shoes was.. he and i have been split up for 2.5 years, I think he thought he had got rid of me back then and wondered what the hell was going on!!!!!It got that little bit worse when my captain found me asleep on the fly sofa in the night before's outfit at 8am... Based on that I think it's affirmative that Yeah, this "Sailor in port" thing is defintely not a good look!!! And yeah, it's something cannot explain but will be definitely working on!

ANYWAY after embarassing myself (internationally) in Viareggio, we hit St Tropez again and have basically spent the last month there.. flitting back and forth between the town, moored in port , the beaches and being moored at anchor..I must admit I am a little gutted as we had planned to go to Ibiza in August and I was looking forward to having a blast there and maybe even hooking up with my friends, Amanda and Alex, who are both planning their hols there this year.. it feels like now would be a good time to show evidence of last years moment in Ibiza.. It was (like most Ibizan moments I'm sure) absolutely BONKERS and I haven't up until this moment had proof or the opportunity to share it with any of you.
During August last year I went with my Xmas tree selling friend Nigel and his 14 year old son on their boat Lady Mina


for 5 weeks from Southern Spain (Estepona) to Ibiza then back to Southern Spain. Bear in mind it was the first time I had been on any type of boat for longer than 3 days and it was also a first time Ibiza moment for all 3 of us...which proved interesting!!! I must admit Lady Mina is completely different to Blue Ice (my current vessel) and too be honest I prefer Lady Mina..

just wish she had the showers from Blue Ice.. We had no GPS (ie:someone had to be on watch, CONSTANTLY steering the boat).. which turned interesting at nightfall as perspective changes dramatically ("oh my God we're about to collide!"- "Amelia that boat is 2 miles away chill out") and things get a little crazy at night, I DEFINITELY heard band music on one of my watches at 2 am.. (...and I stand by that NIGEL!!)

We were just 3 crew.... Oh apart from these special two:
who were awarded, jointly, "the best seafarer" award at the end of the trip..

And we had no experience whatsoever of sailing together !!!!It meant those 5 weeks were definitely entertaining, providing me with the experience of my ship breaking down at 2 am in the middle of the Valencia Shipping Lanes and having to "..keep an eye out for other vessels, who could possible run into us!!"; A FatboySlim moment in Manumission, The inevitable let down of a Cafe del Mar sunset, and the beauty of Northern Ibiza and the Utterly Amazing Formentura.. It was thoroughly amusing and even though there was point where it all nearly fell apart when we all got the San Antonio itch....I can quite safely say it changed my opinion of Ibiza... hence being genuinely gutted I'm not there this year!!


Keeping with the theme of looking back, I have been sent some more photo's of my Mum's 60th birthday party... if you remember (or scroll down a few pages) I popped home in early June, this year to celebrate this big bday with my mum... and had a bit of crazy weekend! This crazy weekend meant I didn't get enough photos of the wonderful day with my family..there were a few moments that have to be shared.. for example.. the first time me and my twin brother James have been at a family gathering together, "getting on" for probably at least 10 years...
probably the first time a lot of you have even seen a picture of him,
let alone together with me...
The Eastman ladies got a chance to hang out together (My mum, My Gran and My Aunty Kim - see you made it on here!)... And the venue in Ascot really turned up trumps with wine, champers, food and sunshine!!


So back to the present moment.. and July / August in St Tropez... its time for me to name drop..(hold onto your horses!) I got the first bit of celeb action, after all the "talk" that goes round boats, yachties and people who have no life, like me currently!!!YUP ole Paris Hilton came aboard... and yeah it was as tragic as it sounds.. all us crew had mild hysterical attacks at the prospect of serving a celebrity.. even the seasoned capitan!!! And the owner and their guests (of which one had invited Paris) were equally wetting themselves!!! then we had Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock getting married on our neighbouring boat.. this led me and Prue to be binocular bound for the entire day trying to get a peek at who was arriving and disembarking from said boat.. told you I had no life!... and my most recent "out"ing in St Tropez, where by the way I avoided being "Sailor in Port" for the first time.. told you I was working on that.. and got to bump into Bono.. that was an entertaining moment as Prue and I had decided not to go for a drink but a walk.. and 2 Mojitos, 3 Italians and 1 shot later we found ourselves chatting to local St Tropez guys trying to get into the most exclusive club (Le Cave) in the town and yeah bumping into Bono....
That's it no more tragic name dropping.. but as i type I think I can safely say we are all up to date.. I am back in Viareggio, my owner has hired a different boat to take a tour in Turkey (honestly the wealth of this section of the population is ASTOUNDING), so we have a few days free and our captain has taken the boat back to Viareggio so the rest of the crew can be with their families whilst me and Prue can practise being good sailors in port (which by the way we are managing.. touch wood!) So apart from a brief visit to Florence yesterday.. LOVE IT.. a few quality clothes purchases and a longing for this job to be over (2 MONTHS TO GO starting from tomorrow...YEAH!) that'll be me up to date with you all... I briefly alluded to a few family and friends and quite a blunt text to Beckalina that the reality of this particular boat isn't quite what this blog describes it to be.. and I think my next entry will be a truthful expose of what life is really like with 6 italians on a smallish boat when everyone has no work and lots of time to kill.. or stewardesses to kill!!! Keep all your eyes peeled for that thrilling next installment

CIAO FOR NOW xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Did someone mention Plans????

Yeah seems to be a little bit of theme.. once I have mentioned something is planned it all changes.!! Now I can understand a little of how my mother felt with me growing up in her house!!!

So we, yeah, changed plans!! we left Croatia about 5 days after my last entry .. I tempted fate as ever with my bragging on-line about my day off swimming and sunbathing in the afternoon!! Think my captain must have felt the gloating vibe as no sooner had I posted that little gem of an entry I got big time told off on my return, and had to confine myself to my cabin as a preventative measure.. I musn't loose my temper you see I need the job/ cash,.... so lock and key seemed a more appropriate action than telling him where to stick it!!


(me not impressed... but slightly tanned from the naughty day off sunbathing..hehe)

The last few days in Croatia provided some amazing sunset moments


With my owner finally onboard, romancing a lady no less ! there was a lovely feel on-board...


as the ole romance is lacking, beyond belief, in my life I found solace in the fact that all these lovely romantic moments were not going to waste...





These romantic moments meant we were mainly at anchor (ie: spent nights away from ports anchored off, in secluded bays) which translates to FISHING for the crew!!! yup on my off nights (every other night) or whenever the owner went ashore for dinner I attempted fishing.. or to be more accurate the boys fished from the garage and if I was lucky I was allowed to watch..


Now, I have fished before but alas have never had a bite...however this time around I got one.. but as no one else did that night mine was apprently "too small" (PAH!) and had to be thrown back in.. I would have chewed on the little blighter, if only to eat my first ever catch.. So alas no photographic evidence.. THIS TIME!!


The owner cut short his break which meant a speedy departure from Croatia.. obviously the last night.. was as ever A LAST NIGHT!! Prue and I returned to the lovely Bar on the wall in Dubrovnik and caused havoc...

involving a prepubescent deckhand,
an American tourist and the whole bar (well definitely me and the american) decamping into the sea for a nudey midnight swim..

yup it was fun Croatia!! Hvala!!! (thank you!)

So we zoomed back to the French Riviera .. at this point i think its cool for me to mention the World Cup.. obviously I am devastated that we got knocked out.. Bloody Portugal...Bloody Ronaldhino!!.. And yeah Italy won.. I don't mean to sound the sore loser ( I AM by the way) But living with 6 Italians every waking moment has meant that this win or put in to context CAPIONE DEL MUNDO has been rammed down my throat ever since France let it all go to pot, or to Zidanes head!! I am happy for them, (honest!), and we were lucky we got to watch the Final (albeit on board) actually in Italy, in Brindisi.. the first port directly across from Croatia .. so I could hear the whole country go balastic.. We were also lucky that on route to France we stopped over at Viareggio so the crew could see all their family, and we could rest a few days avoiding bad weather AND conveniently catch the CAPIONE del MUNDO's coach (their version of Sven) come home.. he is a Viareggino!! And all that was pretty spectacular, good timing etc etc, even with bitter mouth syndrome!! But it was the replay of this final.. or more accurrately the 100 thousand times it was replayed that I have had to endure that has got me a little more than patriotically bitter.. however I do mutter everynow and then: "At least we stick to buying players NOT referees..." tee hee


And it's with that, that I sign off for now.. I have funny tales to regale about St Tropez as I write to you again from the lovely Viareggio (are you keeping up with all this jet setting) but it is getting late and I am planning to restart my failing attempts at keeping fit, keep your fingers crossed for a 7 am jog tomorrow (no laughing)!

Sleep tight!

xxx xxx