It's official:

I have an extremely rare and potentially dangerous strain of cabinos fevitis (cabin fever) coupled with involuntary celebacy!!!AAAhhhhh!!!

I think I'm checking straight into The Priory when I get home.. (or is that the pub????)

Yup I am going MAD on this boat.. Now, I have been gently reminded by a good friend of mine that many people would like to exchange places with me and ( as he put it) .."swan around the Med for the summer on a luxury yacht!" And put that way I am sure they would. However as mentioned in my last entry not all is what it seems! And as the cracks begin to show, and the months turn into weeks until its all over, I feel it my bound duty to be honest and reveal the truth about this particular experience of mine...

It's honestly not the normal interpretation of cabin fever thats affecting me.. I knew I was going to be on a boat for 6 months and after surviving 5 weeks on a much smaller vessel last year in Ibiza I knew I would be able to handle the confined space issue. And too be honest living out of bags for the past few years (albeit big bags) has also helped prepare me.. No! It's more the mix of personalities, coupled with lack of actual work, coupled with bizzare management, coupled with trying to fathom out what the hell is going on from a blank piece of paper (or as Prue would put it "from doughnuts"). The long and short of it is, it really is the people at work who can make or break a job for you.. and unfortunatley I have been unlucky with 6 out of 7 colleagues..

First bear in mind that when you are on a 41 m yacht (think of the 41m as work AND living space - that's 24 hours - for 8 fully grown adults. Not as a lovely big boat to take a day trip in..Suddenly it's not such a big space!!!), then imagine that you only have 1 other person who actually wants to talk to you at all - that's Prue the other stewardess - the others can all speak English to varying degrees, I can also converse in basic Italian, Spanish and French with them if they let me, they just choose not to..

Then imagine, if you will, that you have never worked on a boat before in your life, yet when you arrive and for the remaining 6 months you are not told the correct way of doing things or the order things should be in, you are just shouted at (or worse just blanked for 3 days) when you inevitably get it wrong..

And just to round it all off throw in a completely arrogant deckhand who thinks he is God, and who, whenever he feels fit, shouts insults at you like Animal, imbicile, dickhead and shithead ( all in Italian but these words I have picked up quickly)

Are you still wanting to swap with me on my divine Mediterranean cruise??

I think I could have gotten by without catching this rare strain of cabin fever if we had been really busy this season, too busy to notice if you know what I mean. But our owner has spent most of his time off the boat, so it's just been the merry 8 on the not so big luxury yacht...

Our free time is so monitored that we are not allowed to get tipsy, let alone have a fun night, meet people and perhaps stay out beyond 12pm..

Now, my whole life has been a physically-active, socially-involved whirl! I haven't had a curfew since I was 14!!! Being stuck with 6 miserable Italians, with nothing to do, not allowed out (bar the odd night which I think illustrates perfectly why we have "Sailor in Port"issues - see below entries for explanation), and only a wonderful Auzzy for company (thank God for Prue) with Italian TV blaring until midnight every night, might go a little way to explain a) this rant, and b) my rare disease...

But yes I am (Ma!!!) keeping a positive outlook.. If I had succumbed and allowed the normal Amelia "out" I would have told them all where to stick it a long while ago. BUT I have been developing the "Zen Amelia" and have been working on my tolerance and patience. So bar this blog entry and a few mentallistic texts I have been getting on with it and counting the days until I have completed my first season.. This little baby has been keeping me going:

Along with the promise of a European Road Trip home with the ambulance and Prue once this whole madness has all finished...

PHEW.. yeah that's a little better it's all out.. think I'll end this entry now... I feel cleansed..I have about 5 weeks left and yeah the owner is coming tomorrow so I have work to do (Also I suspect my family will be sending the men in the white coats over to Nice to get me if I don't chill out soon)..

So next time you hear from me no doubt I'll be full of the joys of St Tropez and of course coming home... Hold on to your Horses!!!!!!!

And if I haven't said it enough Thank GOD FOR PRUE.....